I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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