Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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