Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do herpes really smell.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
