so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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