White coat. Heels.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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