I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Too much gin, very little bucket
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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