No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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