I met the friendliest cop last night
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
