I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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