My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
