I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
