went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
there is glitter all over my balls
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
