I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize