A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
