I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
