so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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