I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
