I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just pynch a tree in the face
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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