New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The power of my boobs compel you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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