Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
