What a fucking waste of an outfit
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
