Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
