Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
