I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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