i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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