I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
