wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
