no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
