You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
