Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
