They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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