I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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