Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
