ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
