So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
