is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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