I hope mine doesn't look like that
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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