I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My hand turned me down
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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