the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
