Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
