i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
