I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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