YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
