Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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