you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
