yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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