Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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