Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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