Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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