I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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