just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
