Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
