before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
