so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
