found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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